


Some Kind of Strange Hatake Courtship Ritual

by Prim_the_Amazing



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Chores, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Nudity, POV Third Person, POV Umino Iruka, Present Tense, Roommates, arguably it did work tho so maybe i should just call it Unorthodox Flirting?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 01:35:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7781791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prim_the_Amazing/pseuds/Prim_the_Amazing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day after Iruka moves in, he walks in on his roommate making an omelette in the kitchen while wearing nothing but socks and underwear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Kind of Strange Hatake Courtship Ritual

The day after Iruka moves in, he walks in on his roommate making an omelette in the kitchen while wearing nothing but socks and underwear.

"Uh," Iruka says stupidly, and now it's too late to just quietly walk right back out and act like this never happened. Kakashi probably just forgot in his drowsiness that he doesn't live alone any longer.

"Yo," Kakashi greets him casually, not startling at all. Iruka notices that he's actually also wearing one of those hospital masks. He'd been wearing it yesterday as well as they negotiated rent. He must be sick. (The eyepatch is still on, and Iruka has already decided not to think too much about it. Kakashi will tell him about it when and if he wants to tell him about it.)

"Um... yo yourself?" Iruka says, and god, he's the one making this awkward, he totally is.

Isn't it weird at all though, objectively? At least a little, right?

"Making us an omelette," Kakashi says, nodding his head at the frying pan. It looks delicious.

"You didn't have to do that," Iruka begins what will surely be a long line of excuses that he doesn't really want to make, but there's such a thing as manners, and also he's feeling pretty flustered.

"Yet I am," Kakashi says in a way that brooks no argument.

"... Right. Thanks."

"No problem."

The omelette _is_ delicious.

* * *

The next time Iruka walks in on Kakashi he's vacuuming and wearing about as much as he had when Iruka had walked in on him making breakfast for them the last time, minus his left sock for some reason. 

 _Why is he not wearing clothes_ , Iruka wonders distantly, face hot. _It's noon._

"Move please," Kakashi says, bumping the vacuum against his feet.

"Right, sorry," Iruka says, and moves.

Kakashi casually vacuums the rest of the apartment in his near-clothless state.

Iruka definitely doesn't stare at his ass.

* * *

_Maybe he just took a shower_ , Iruka reasons, despite the fact that Kakashi is completely dry.

"Some help?" Kakashi asks, but instead of waiting for a answer he just throws a rag at him.

"Sure," Iruka says reflexively (damn his polite upbringing), and starts drying plates as Kakashi hands them to him.

He's lost his remaining sock by this point, but now he's at least wearing an apron. But all it's really doing is making Kakashi look more fetishistic instead of modest.

 _Maybe it's a kink_ , his mind supplies, inspired by Iruka's train of thought. _Maybe he's got a 'doing chores almost naked' fetish._

Iruka wants to break the plate he's holding on his _face_. At least he'd be draining all of the blood there then, instead of letting it sit just underneath his skin, so visible. He should tan more, so this kind of thing didn't happen.

* * *

_Or maybe it's_ your _kink._

Iruka wonders if he could punch his own dick without Kakashi noticing. He seems to be rather occupied with his dusting, so he might actually get away with it.

At this point Iruka knows that the mask is a permanent fixture, for some mysterious unknown reason. The apron is gone now though, and if the trend of the last few weeks follow suit then he's got a feeling that either it or the boxers are going to disappear the next time he walks in on Kakashi removing mold or whatever. And from how determined Kakashi's been about not revealing his face, Iruka has a sinking feeling he knows which article of clothing it's going to be.

 _No wonder he didn't tell me why his last roommate left_ , he thinks.

He stays sitting (and pretending) to watch Jeopardy for far longer than is usual for him. Standing up is dangerous right now.

* * *

"Is this some kind of strange Hatake courtship ritual?" Iruka asks, determinedly not looking below Kakashi's waistline as he's doing the laundry. He _has_ to ask.

"All of my clothes are currently being washed," Kakashi says innocently.

"Bullshit." Iruka doesn't buy it for one hot second. ( _Speaking of hot... no brain look up, look **up!**_ )

"Much of common flirting practices make no actual sense and are very strange once you spend more than a few seconds thinking about them," Kakashi says, and Iruka isn't sure whether this is a change of awkward topic (which one is more awkward, the one they were talking about or the one Kakashi changed it to?), or an answer to his earlier question, half assed lies ignored and forgotten just like that.

"So... you decided to casually strip and do domestic chores?" Iruka asks.

"I'm the full package, baby. That wasn't a blink, just now. You didn't notice because of the eyepatch, but I just I winked flirtatiously at you."

"Right," Iruka says, completely taken off guard by this entire conversation, from start to finish. "Thanks. You do know that if you wanted to go on a date with me you could have just talked to me, right?"

"That sounds really hard," Kakashi replies seemingly one hundred percent sincerely. What a disaster of a human being.

( _Speaking of hard things_ \-- NO GOD DAMN IT BRAIN.)

"You've been, um, a really good roommate," Iruka manages, face so hot it feels like his brain is melting from proximity. "It's all very... clean. And the view, ah, it has been--"

"Spectacular?" Kakashi interrupts. "Mind blowing? Fantastic? The best you've ever seen?"

"Better than average," Iruka says before Kakashi can go on like that for what he suspects is a very long time, just to take him down a peg. He can't help smiling as he says it though, so he can't help but feel like his answer wasn't as stinging as all that. From the way Kakashi cluthes at his (bare) chest dramatically and shoots him a betrayed look, Iruka thinks his feeling was right on the money.

" _Better than average_?" Kakashi repeats back at him, mock horrified.

"I suppose it's doable." Kakashi staggers like he's been hit by a physical blow. "Sufficient." Kakashi falls to one knee, apparently wounded beyond his ability to stay standing. " _Acceptable_."

This final blow seems to be the straw that breaks the camels back, because he let's out a death groan before bursting out into laughter in the next moment. Iruka can't help but laugh with him.

* * *

Iruka makes sure to demonstrate to Kakashi what _real_ flirting's like. The amount of chores Kakashi does without asking diminishes, unfortunately. The amount of time he spends walking naked around the apartment does not, fortunately.


End file.
